A Series of Super Short Fan Fictions
by Whiffles
Summary: A compilation of random super short Final Fantasy 8 Fan Fictions SSFF8FF . Weird, funny, and WTF-ish. More to come!


**A Compilation of Super Short Final Fantasy 8 Fan Fictions**

**SSFF8FF#1 : Warning On The Clock Tower**

Time: 20:00:00

Place: On top of the Deling City Clock Tower

I sit by myself. Nervous as hell. I can't do this.

20:00:00.

The gates have been dropped. She is trapped. Here's my chance.

"Who the hell are you?! Get down," I turn around to see Squall with his gunblade at the neck of a stranger who wasn't here before.

"What do we do, Squall?" Rinoa asks, fearfully.

"If we make it out of here we'll have no choice but to kill him," I butt in. This guy didn't even so much as blink.

"Relax. I've come to help you. I'm from the future."

_Oh great, I'm on top of a clock tower about to assassinate an important political figure and I'm stuck with a nutjob who popped out of nowhere_, Squall says without speaking.

"Don't shoot her. She'll stop the bullet. And you know... it's not like she's really trapped in there. She's about half your size and can easily slide through the bars if she pleased, PLUS she can walk through walls."

"Go back to your own time then," Squall tells him.

"As you wish," he says before disappearing.

"Irvine, you can shoot now."

I firmly grasp my rifle.

I breathe in deep.

I breathe out.

I aim.

I pull the trigger.

She stops the bullet.

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**SSFF8FF#2 : Fun With Magic**

Time: Collision of Balamb and Galbadia Gardens

Place: Balamb Garden's quad

Rinoa slips off the edge of the quad, as Galbadia Garden crashes into us, leaving her hanging on for dear life and screaming when out of nowhere, a SeeD from the future pops up out of nowhere.

"Float!" he shouts, targeting my jeapordized friend and she begins to thank him.

"Thank you, how will I ever re-"

He cuts her off by shouting, "Dispel!" She falls down again, screaming, and this makes this sick guy laugh. He casts Float on Rinoa again, this time she's begging him not to let her fall again, but of course, he lets her down. Literally. Laughing, he casts Float on the screaming girl once more right before I karate chop his ass and kick him off the edge of the quad.

"Dammit, I'm never gonna get this shit right!" he shouts as he vanishes into thin air.

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**SSFF8FF#3 : Zell Breaks The World; Irvine Saves It**

Just another ordinary day preparing to fight Ultimecia, fighting monsters with my friends Squall and Selphie, when I get my limit break. I slam my fist into the ground and watch it crack. Like completely.

"Oh shit," Squall says, looking horrified at the same time Selphie yells at me, "Zell what did you do?!"

"Um... fuck." I have no idea what to say.

"How will we fight Ultimecia together now?" she asks.

"Well which side is she on?" I ask the only logical question in my mind. Squall and Selphie get out a world map, tracing their fingers along what I can only assume would be the Estharian continent and looking at a compass. Squall points in my general direction as they drift further apart from me.

"That one," Squall answers, at the same time Selphie clarifies, "Yours." I start to panic.

"No! Don't leave me!" I cry for attention as I get on my knees, stretching my hand out to reach for my friends.

"Zell, be careful, you're going to fall off the edge of the Earth," Squall warns.

"But I NEED you! I can't fight Ultimecia by myself! My mommy told me not to hit girls!"

Then, the unimaginable happens. Ultimecia appears out of nowhere and starts molesting me.

"Hey, wanna kome with me to my kastle?" she asks, winking at me.

Scared, all I can think of to say without offending her so much as to want to kill me is "Uh...no thank you ma'am, but I appreciate your kind offer." She pays no attention to my response and starts nibbling on my ear in a playful manner which I find highly disturbing as well as disgusting.

"I haven't had sex in a long time," she tells me.

"No! Get away from me! I don't like girls!" I confess. And then he came. My hero. Count on Irvine to show up within 10 seconds if anyone mentions the words "sex" and "girl" within ten seconds of each other.

Out of breath and panting, he claims, "I got here as fast as I could!"

"Ooh, hey there cowboy." Ultimecia tosses me aside and throws herself at Irvine. I can't help but give Irvine an evil look, even though he just saved my dick, why does everything with him have to revolve around sex and girls?

"What? All she needs is a little lovin' right babe?"

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**SSFF8FF#4 : Ultimate GF Memory Loss**

Time: All

Place: ???

Rinoa, Quistis, and I are fighting against Ultimecia for the final time, when everything starts to go wrong.

"I forgot how to whistle!" Rinoa randomly tells me.

"Now is not the time!" I scold her for being a dumb bitch in the middle of an important fight.

"But, I'm trying to call Angelo!" she tells me right before Ultimecia casts Meteor and knocks her out.

"No! Rinoa!" I cry. Selphie appears in place of a fallen Rinoa.

Selphie gets pretty cocky as she starts out the fight. "Whoo hoo! I am pumped and ready to fight the sorceress! Come on lady, I have Full-Life and Ultima junctioned to my Elemental Defense, And I maxed out my vitality and strength from eating T-Rexaurs and Adamantoises YOU CAN'T HURT ME! ... Why is my health so low?"

And then, Ultimecia takes out Selphie with just one hit. Goodbye, Selphie.

"Ugh... no... how could I forget to switch junctions back?" she says sleepily before we lose her, and who better to take her place than Irvine. I summon Cerberus so everyone now has Double and Triple. Quistis casts Aura on the entire party at once.]

"This is for Selphie!" Irvine cries angrily and revengeful as he uses all of his Pulse ammo on Ultimecia at once. Quistis then casts Degenerator on Ultimecia. What the fuck?

"What the hell are you thinking? You know that doesn't work on bosses!" I remind her.

"Huh? Oh, um.. yeah I guess I forgot." she says confusedly as I cast Triple Meteor on Ultimecia. Good thing I have Expendx3-1 equipped because I have Meteor junctioned to my strength. And then the weirdest thing happens...

Ultimecia casts Reflect on herself.

"God dammit, seriously?" Quistis panics before casting Death on herself to reflect it and hit Ultimecia. Only she gets herself knocked out.

"What the- when did it wear off?!"

Zell comes to take Quistis's place in battle.

"No please don't hurt me I don't have any junctions!" he begs before she knocks him out with one hit.

"Looks like you and me have to take care of this one," Irvine tells me. He shoots Ultimecia but she stops the bullet just like she did when she was posessing Matron in the Deling City parade.

"Shit!" we both scream out.

I get ready to Renzokuken Ultimecia, but I stop as I get near her and examine my gunblade.

"How does this thing work again?" I ask as I look around. "Dammit."

I plop down on the floor, not knowing what to do. "I get annoyed by Zell telling me his knowledge on everything, and Quistis's lectures, but when I actually need their help, they're gone."

"Wow, that sure is unlike you to say that," Irvine tells me.

"Guys, what are we fighting for anyway?" the enemy questions.

"Cus you killed Selphie!" he screams angrily before shooting her with all of his AP Ammo now.

"But I mean before that..."

Still not knowing what to do, I curl up in a fetal position and suck my thumb, rocking back and forth, when after several minutes of stopped fighting...

"I figured it out! You're not really from the future..." Irvine begins. I sit up and listen intently because I don't know what else to do.

"And your name isn't even really Ultimecia. You just made that up. It all makes sense now. And Griever-"

Griever... That's right, Rinoa still has my ring.

"Oh my God, she's -"

My last words. Death by Griever coming out of nowhere. Kinda funny if you think about it.

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**SSFF8FF#5 : Seducing Squall**

Rinoa and Quistis are in nothing but their bras and panties, waiting for Squall.

"You sure you're comfortable doing this?" she asks the half-naked blonde.

"If it means Squall likes it, I will take your panties off with my bare teeth," she replies. Rawr. Kinky.

"Good idea! He'll love that! Quistis, you're brilliant."

"Yeah, shut up," she was already getting into character. She then blindfolds Rinoa and handcuffs her to the bedframe. As a joke she tugs at her panties and they both giggle.

"He's coming!" Rinoa whispers excitedly. As Squall enters his dorm, Quistis cracks her whip and Rinoa jumps a little.

"I thought I told you to shut up." She says to her as she covers her mouth and sucks on her neck while grinding against her.

"Please don't hurt me! I promise I'll do what you want!" the damsel in distress plays along. Squall drops his keys and Quistis turns around to see Squall with his eyes nearly popping out of his head with his jaw on the floor.

"You! On the bed, right now!" she bosses as she cracks her whip again.

"Just do what she says! Squall!"

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" I don't know if he knows what's up or playing along or what.

"Hurry Squall!"

Rinoa feels around to let herself out of the handcuffs and takes off her blindfold. As Squall sits on his bed, Quistis and Rinoa each straddle one of his legs. Lucky bastard.

"I won't ask what's going on," he says softly, averting the eyes.

"Good," Quistis says.

"We missed you when you were gone, Squall," his needy girlfriend tells him. Both of the girls run their hands all along Squall's upper body and let them rest on his shoulders.

"Really?"

"Mhmm, we missed you so much we started to get lonely and..."

"We ended up pleasuring each other, but it's not the same without you," Rinoa finishes. Quistis and Rinoa move their hands up toward his cock as they lean in to kiss each other just inches away from Squall's face, gently squeezing each other's firm breasts. I can only imagine what Squall must be thinking right now.

Damn, this is hot.

Quistis and Rinoa look at Squall as they start to part from each other but still are attached at the tongue. "You're hard," Quistis points out.

"I think he likes this," his girlfriend states, making him blush. "What are you thinking?"

Quistis: "He's thinking: Damn, this is hot. Am I gonna do them both at the same time? Yada yada."

"What are you gonna do, Squall?" To answer, he grabs them both by the neck and pulls them in to his face and kisses them both as my screen goes black. No! How could my computer crash at a time like this?!


End file.
